Zombie Apocalypse Beauty Essentials

/ COFFEE WITH ZOE

Disclaimer: These products will not prolong your life at all in the event of an encounter with the walking dead.

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The shocking episodes of this season’s The Walking Dead have given me an idea for a tag-post! The idea behind this tag is to reveal the beauty products you feel that you just could not live without, even if it is the end of the world, and I’d love for any of my readers to adopt this as a tag and show me their apocalypse-essential products also! So while they may not save your life, your favourite products will likely aid your ability to live contently before becoming a human happy meal. Don’t worry, I don’t have utterly skewed priorities! I doubt I’d really care about my frizzy curls when brandishing a deadly weapon. In any case, the following list contains the items that will inevitably find themselves tucked away into my survival bag. And some may even have surprising uses.

Umberto Giannini ‘Curl Friends’ Scrunching Jelly: Just because we’re fighting the walking dead doesn’t mean we have to look like them too! I have sworn by this product for at least ten years. Having tried other mousses and curl creams to tame my frizz and define my curls, I’ve found nothing works as well as good ol’ Umberto. In fact, I used to write a really cringe-worthy diary when I was around twelve and one of those entries said word-for-word “Wore Curl Friends and actually had curls for a change. Got loads of people saying ‘nice hair’.” Ha. The gel-like product adds definition and shine and a delicious scent to each curl without weighing them down, all making it perfect for my fine, frizzy hair.

Tresemmé Salon Finish Extra Hold Hairspray: Again, another hair product since my hair is the bane of my existence. I feel like I would be stuck outside in the rain a lot during an apocalypse, so hairspray to make my hair less of a frizz-cloud and more like actual hair would be essential! This particular hairspray is magical. It freezes any style into place perfectly, and if you brush it out it was like it was never there – no crunchiness at all. Also, hold a lighter to the end of the nozzle and you have a makeshift zombie-roastin’ flame thrower.

Mac ‘Russian Red’: Why would you use someone else’s icky blood on your face like Carol to blend in with the murderous Wolves when red lipstick does the same job? This has been my holy grail red lipstick for years as it is the perfect shade for my skin tone. It’s a slightly blue-toned vampy red which makes teeth absolutely sparkle! Plus the formulation is a creamy matte that lasts forever (or till the end of the world) once applied. However, a red lipstick shade is very individual and unique to each person, so I would recommend swatching this and a few others to see what best suits your skin colouring.

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Who wore it better?

Elizabeth Arden Eight-Hour Cream Intensive Lip Repair: Again stemming from the assumption that a zombie apocalypse would mean roughing it outside a lot, I figure a lip balm is absolutely essential! I just can’t do Winter without one – my lips are drier than the Sahara once the temperature changes. And that would be a really uncomfortable extra during an apocalypse that I am not about to face without some aid! This balm is a handy-sized variation of the miracle Elizabeth Arden Eight-Hour Cream that everyone and their nan swears by, but without the same yucky smell and taste. I usually dab loads on at night before bed as a lip mask and wake up with super soothed lips.

Benefit ‘Bo-oing’ Industrial Strength Concealer: I can imagine that without all my usual skincare and a suitable food intake my skin would look a little worse for wear. Dare I say, zombie-esque? So to avoid being fatally mistaken for one of the undead I would have to bring along a pretty fantastic concealer. I love this particular one as it is the perfect peach-tone for hiding any imperfections even though the super glowy yellow-toned highlighting concealer is usually more popular. Nothing draws attention to blemishes like glitter. This concealer is also super long-lasting and gives an incredible full coverage that doesn’t slip and slide throughout the day, or sit in any lines.

L’Oreal Superliner Black Lacquer: Maybe not essential, but because I wear eyeliner on a pretty much everyday basis I can’t imagine I would stop for something as insignificant as a zombie apocalypse. I love how eyeliner opens up eyes, especially since mine are slightly down-turned at the outside corner. This eyeliner would also be perfect as it is rain-proof, cry-proof, sweat-proof… in fact, though I’ve never tried this before, if I applied this it would probably last for weeks and weeks without wearing off. One last thing to worry about if I’m backed into a corner by ravenous zombie hordes.

Soap & Glory ‘The Righteous Butter’ Body Butter: That issue that happens to my lips in Winter also affects my arms and skin in general, no matter how much water I drink or how well I wrap up against the cold air. I find that lotions and oils don’t make a difference in hydrating my skin, it has to be a really thick body butter applied liberally at night. The greasier the better. I love this Soap & Glory one purely for the smell but anything with Shea butter in it makes my skin generally content! So I would recommend buying one to keep your skin comfortable in the colder months, plus you’ll be beautifully soft and deliciously scented, and far too slippery for any zombie to get a good hold of you! However, you may want to find a more travel friendly size than this one.

Sudocream: This cream is renowned for its anti-septic ingredients which fight infection, but also for its soothing properties. I think it was originally marketed as a nappy cream for babies, though I use it on any spots that crop up to stop them in their tracks while simultaneously reducing redness. But it is also good to apply on cuts to prevent them becoming infected. It maybe won’t fix a zombie bite, but think of all those bumps and scrapes you will get along the way! Because when does Rick not have an oozing cut on his face?

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Granted, this was a stupid post and probably would have suited Hallowe’en week far better, but I had such fun creating it and you never know when an apocalypse may happen… So now I challenge you to come up with (and stock-pile for later) a list of your own zombie apocalypse essential products! Don’t forget to let me know so I can see what I may have missed out!

Who else has been watching The Walking Dead?

Zoe Signature

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59 thoughts on “Zombie Apocalypse Beauty Essentials”

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